My Experience When I was Epileptic
Mr. Nikhil Nicholas D

How it started

I was diagnosed to have epilepsy when I was 9 years old. Being young then, I didn't have much to think about and I was only concerned with the pleasures of childhood. My Epilepsy lasted till I was 12 and I then went into my 'honeymoon' period, during which I didn't get any fits. Having thought I was cured, I led a normal life and this lasted until I was 18.

Adolescent Years

When I entered JC, the 'auras' started again and I was getting worried. By then, I started taking medication and was seeing my old Neurologist. However, I had my 'first' fit later at about age 19, when I entered national service. Being an adolescent, I was ashamed about it and concealed it from everybody, hiding myself away. Although the attacks didn't come too frequently, I however, was still feeling very conscious and still hid away from people.

Employment

After I completed my national service, I started looking for a job. Being epileptic, I didn't have much choice and I managed to work in a bank as a programmer. I still did not reveal much to anyone, and only the close ones knew that I had my fits. During this time, I was still very active in sports, and I did not let my condition stifle my daily activities. I played tennis, went mountain trekking, and did what any normal person did. However, whenever I had a fit coming, I would go to a safe place and I would just have my fit. After the fit, I would continue my activity, as if nothing ever happened. This went on and the attacks kept coming more regularly. I still did not stop my activities, much to the objection of my doctors. When the attacks got worse, I changed doctors, and it was then that I decided to change my life, take a break and went to study.

The Final Lap

I went to a local polytechnic and took up the course in Diagnostic Radiography. I was sponsored for my course by a local hospital and it helped in my expenditure. When I went to the polytechnic, I still hid my condition away from the many people around me. Whenever I had a fit coming, I would excuse myself and run out of class/lectures and go somewhere quiet to get my attack. Unfortunately, the attacks got too often in the 2nd year of my studies for my close friends not to notice. When the fit came, I would still run somewhere to get my attacks, with my friends coming after me to help me. Although this went on, I still did not stop my activities at all. I was the captain of my school tennis and badminton teams then and could continue riding bicycle. Fortunately my attacks never came in the way of my activities and I did not stop to think about the consequences. Again, how I felt as a person, normal. When things got worse, it was then I decided to go for corrective surgery, much to the support of friends, and close ones. This was just 4 months short of my final exams.

Post Surgery

After the surgery, I don't feel as if anything had changed, except that I have more security in the being that I know that I will not get anymore attacks. It's coming to two years post surgery, and I have not had any fits since 25th November 1994, the date of my surgery. I always look back and am always advising people that Epilepsy is not a condition to be afraid of. Presently, I am working as a Diagnostic Radiographer. I am very happy as I am accepted and none of my colleagues, who know of my history, ever treat me indifferently. Many of them even feel that I am truly a fighter, in that sense, and they have full praise for my courage and perseverance.

Final Words

Just remember, my fellow epileptics, it all depends on you and how you perceive your condition. Don't wallow in self-pity and think that all is hopeless. Find strength from within and face the world with your head up high. People will respect you for that and if you should fall someday, remember this, the world is kind and there are people out there who care and will try to understand your plight. I had that experience, and that is why I can say and share this.

"Amnesia used to be my favorite word, but then I forgot it."